With Adelaide I was lucky enough to stay home with her and only had to use the dreaded pump a handful of times throughout our entire breastfeeding relationship. This time around I went back to work (part-time) when Ari was 6 weeks old. I am currently working three days a week from 8am-3pm and should pump at least twice a day. If you have ever pumped on a regular basis you know how awful it is. It’s uncomfortable, humiliating, awkward, time-consuming, frustrating and stressful. If you have never pumped, consider yourself lucky and just take my word for it.
Even though I really hate pumping, I do feel that it is worth it. I respect everyone’s personal choice on whether they BF or not and if they pump or not. But it is really important for me personally to provide momma milk for my babies and if it means pumping at work then that’s what I’ll do.
Aside from having nightmares where I hear the pshh-shh, pssh-shh sound of the pump-monster following me down a dark alley… here are the top 10 reasons I hate pumping!
1. Actually taking the time to stop what I’m doing and pump twice a day and rearrange my schedule around pumping sessions is really annoying.
2. Remembering to bring all of the parts for the pump and extra bottles every day. I live 30 minutes from work so if I forget, I’m screwed.
3. The act of pulling up my shirt in my chilly office and unhooking my bra then hooking my breasts up to a machine is just, well, not enjoyable.
4. Measuring and labeling milk into bags and bottles for daycare and trying not to accidentally leave the milk at work, or in the car, or in my purse.
5. The sound the pump makes… I’m pretty sure everyone on the second floor of my building can hear it. Awkward…
6. Having to wash and sterilize a million pieces of this boob squeezing contraption twice a day in the COMMUNAL sink that co-workers leave their mugs, plates and even flower pots in. Also getting out of bed at night when I remember that I still haven’t boiled my pump parts for the next day.
7. The panic I feel when a pumping session only results in 2 ounces. Measuring my self worth in ounces is just not healthy.
8. Every time I pump I obviously start thinking about my baby and missing him more than I already did. Enter Mom Guilt.
9. Trying to avoid spilling breast milk (which might as well be bacon grease with the stains it produces) on my clothes, shoes, important documents etc.
10. Closing my office door and spending an entire lunch break naked from the waist up without any human interaction.